Negotiations between divorcing parties can be done more easily with the help of a mediator. To be able to succeed in the process of mediation, the mediator must understand the needs of both parties. It is not easy to determine the needs of both parties and the mediator needs to have certain qualities that will make it easier for him. Here are the important qualities that the mediator must have: good listening abilities, patience, flexibility, tolerance, persistence, creativity, and the ability to handle conflict and be emphatic to the parties affected. While listening to both parties, it is not wise for the mediator to share his own values or opinions. It is quite risky since the mediator might be putting something in that is not really important to the parties.
The mediator will then narrow the scope of the issues important to them. The next meetings will be private meetings with the mediator where he will present the other party’s point of view. Without the presence of the other party, the mediator will challenge the position of the one he is with. The weakness of their position will be pointed out by the mediator. If it is successful, the parties will almost come to terms with each other but it can also go the other way and alienate someone. One party can feel that the mediator is taking sides if he voices the point of the other party very strongly. In order to solve this issue, the mediator should make both parties understand his role in evaluating their sides even before the process begins. They will know that what the mediator will do, he will do to both parties.
Since the mediator is an objective third party, he will be able to come up with options that have not been thought of by both parties. The solution that the mediator will come up with includes the elements of compromise and gain for each party. A mediator needs the critical skill of thinking out of the box. The mediator then goes back and forth to both parties until they are able to reach an agreement.
The agreement that both parties will reach with the help of the mediator should be put to writing. The attorneys of both parties writes the agreement with the mediator simply making sure that it is done. If there is no representation, then the mediator will draft the agreement himself. The agreement becomes binding to both parties once it is signed. When the agreement is signed, it is presented to a judge in a final hearing were he will incorporate the agreement into an order that can be enforced by the court.
Mediation is not only for divorce cases, but it can also be for other cases like contracts, foreclosures or any other matter. The mediator helps to resolve conflicts as an objective unbiased third party.